Future Spouse Gifts

Billboard / Sue wil you marry me? -Bob / And what about grandkids? - Bob's Mom.

'What - you don't want to marry me after you became rich and famous? Oh, great! Now I've got to think about a new pension plan!'

The wedding.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby, baby maker

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

"And if that day comes, sweetie, just make sure your wedding album is inclusive-looking."

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

'We should probably think about baby proofing the place a bit.'

"Some day son, all this will belong to your ex-wives."

Baby boom expected due to corona

This girl says she wants to have her children young...that doesn't scare me off. Who wants old children?

'So, you're married to my ex-husband?'