Future Baby Namers Pillows

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

In the club.

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

"Sinead?!"

'I'm on the way!'

"She's pretty smart. She already knows enough to spit out vegetables."

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

We decided that a puppy would be good practice before having a baby.

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"Don't forget...there are no guarantees, no returns, and no compensation!"

Ask me about Naming Rights.

The Beckham's son's name is Spanish for cross. I'd be cross if someone called me that.

When More Government Is A Good Thing

"Not so fast. I want to be called 'Nana'."

"Any cravings?"

'We named him after Andy Rooney because of his irritating whine.'

"What's her working title?"

"In the end we decided to name him PJZK45Mz! So we could remember our computer's password."