Future Anchorman Pillows

"I want to be a TV News Reporter!"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

Presenter Auditions.

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

The young Lisa Laflamme.

'How do you know he wants to go to college? Maybe he wants to be a sportscaster.'

Career center: 'I'm planning to replace Katie Couric when she retires!'

"The subject of tonight's discussion is: why are there no women on this panel?"

Dana Bash

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

'Would you believe it the E.U. have put a cap on the numbers of celebrity chefs we can have!'

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

"I want to be a stand up comic, but life's not crap enough."

"To avoid lawsuits, tonight's news will not name names."

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

Why Kids Don't Host Talk Shows

"There's only bad news! Tomorrow I'm going to knock down the journalist."

'Good evening. Peter Jennings is ff tonight, and I'm some ditzy blonde...'

Geraldo Rivera

'The reason your mom wears combat boots - and I talk about this in my book...'

'I aspire to bigger and better things!'

'The best way to start in broadcasting is to learn how to work the booth.'

'This summer, I went to pundit camp. . .'

'Due to scheduling conflicts, the Today show will be seen tomorrow....'

'She's going to be a TV presenter.'

Sea man

Skier with an anchor.

'That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprise.'

"Of course, now I'm just a class clown, but eventually I'd like my own sitcom."

What he really hoped to be someday was a TV news anchor.