Aspiring Announcer Pillows

Presenter Auditions.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Sports Radio in Crisis

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

'Mummy, Mummy, I've been practising the whole afternoon: Wanna hear my evil laugh?'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

Communication

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

The young Lisa Laflamme.

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Of course, we can't pay you. But just think of all the exposure you'll be getting!"

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

Annoucement

Career center: 'I'm planning to replace Katie Couric when she retires!'

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

"Gretzky shoots from three-point land for the extra point..." "Idiot"

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.