Future Actor Gifts

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Joan Hickson

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

Reese Witherspoon

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

So close... Yet so far.

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"I couldn't get a signal while I was at the mall. I can now relate to those songs that sing about the blues."

Melanie Griffith

"So, Mrs. Fessler, I understand you're a stand-up comic."

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"A five, six, seven, eight, Mooooom!"

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

Morgan Freeman

Jacqueline Bisset caricature

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"So I hear you did your own stunts in this movie."

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

Mathew Maconaughy

"Larry and Phil aren't sure what they want to do, but Michael is interested in show business."