Furry Family Master Gifts

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Bad dog."

Foster failure

Dogs

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

"He wants a second opinion."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

Dog and man on couch

Hairy dog looks the same both ends.

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

'Are you here, Alfred?'

"All it says is 'loyal and trustworthy friend', but that's not the real me."

Cat on the violin

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

'Well, I'll tell you about ear trims...

'I work from home - we have Kick Your Children Out of the House Day.'

"He's a real dog person."

"I think you should know - you're adopted."

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

"I'd love to be a stay at home mum, but I'll get into so much trouble if I miss any more school."

'Cute.'

"Dead rats, dead birds, dead skinks, I've tried all kinds of gifts, but there's no pleasing my mistress really..."

"Thanks for stopping by and for taking some of our dog's hair home with you."

"So we're all off on holiday! I don't know where we are going but I know we're stopping off at somewhere called Kennels on the way."