Furry Family Master Gifts

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Foster failure

"Bad dog."

Dogs

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"He wants a second opinion."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Dog and man on couch

Hairy dog looks the same both ends.

'Are you here, Alfred?'

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

"All it says is 'loyal and trustworthy friend', but that's not the real me."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

Cat on the violin

"He's a real dog person."

'I work from home - we have Kick Your Children Out of the House Day.'

'Well, I'll tell you about ear trims...

"I think you should know - you're adopted."

'Cute.'

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

"I'd love to be a stay at home mum, but I'll get into so much trouble if I miss any more school."

"Thanks for stopping by and for taking some of our dog's hair home with you."

'We won't need menus. Just bring whatever is cooked. They'll eat it and like it.'