Furniture Testing Gifts

'While we were very impressed with each of you, we have decided to offer Brenda the position of product tester.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Surprise!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Fittd shēt

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'