Furniture Preserver Gifts

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

Fumes from furniture

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'I want to capture this moment before toxic chemicals do.'

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive."

Painter and Decorator/Wallpaper

'This preliminary report looks at how we can best address green waste through sustainable forest management...'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

"I'm sorry, Frank. I know it's more environmentally friendly but your new campfire program really doesn't provide the right atmopshere."

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

'The sugar chest is original but the contents are artificial.'

A fish works to plug up factory waste.

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

The message that status symbols were so last year was getting through...

Oh wow. Love your work.

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

'I could swear I heard, 'You're running everything in the ground, son!'

"Enough of this. Let's go shred a sofa."

'I've got a good feeling, this one's a 'keeper'.'

'...but when I said I wanted a NEW wardrobe....'