Furniture Fumigator Gifts

Fumes from furniture

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Man using to much bug spray

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

'Sorry darling: I'm a great ape, I can use primitive tools, but this is too difficult for me...'

'It's made out of solid wood and it sleeps eight.'

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

The message that status symbols were so last year was getting through...

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

Seat Belt

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

"Enough of this. Let's go shred a sofa."

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

"Trimmed, but not so much that I can't claw up the furniture."

'...but when I said I wanted a NEW wardrobe....'

"Sorry about the chairs, dear, but I'm desperate for wood chips!"

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

'It's my climbing the walls installation!'

"Isn't that cute? She bought herself a little stool to sit on and watch us shred her chairs!"

'Ripping furniture to shreds doesn't turn me on anymore. What I'd like to get my claws on is somebody's reputation.'

I hate it when you cry, Al. Because it makes you sad? Because it stains the naugahyde.