Funny Occasions Gifts

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"What the hell took so long?"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Malfunctioning geyser

"This does not make us friends."

Son burying his dad in sand

'You're going the wrong way, Ben!'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

Spiderman car window cleaner

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'They wouldn't let him graduate from obedience school - he bit the valedictorian.'

"Well, do you have proof it wasn't bigfoot?

'Didn't we fly over this hill ten minutes ago?'

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

"It's the only 'L' word you can click on."

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

"The airline's in trouble, isn't it?"

Working from home

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

'That's the last time you have a sip of coffee.'

'Great job! -- Take the rest of the day off!'

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

An injury to hide from the ladies.

Hound dog sniffing and pointing at bunny slippers.

Golfer on Football Pitch

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.