Funny Occasions Gifts

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"What the hell took so long?"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

Malfunctioning geyser

"This does not make us friends."

'You're going the wrong way, Ben!'

Son burying his dad in sand

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'Didn't we fly over this hill ten minutes ago?'

'They wouldn't let him graduate from obedience school - he bit the valedictorian.'

"Well, do you have proof it wasn't bigfoot?

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

"The airline's in trouble, isn't it?"

Working from home

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

'That's the last time you have a sip of coffee.'

'Great job! -- Take the rest of the day off!'

An injury to hide from the ladies.

Hound dog sniffing and pointing at bunny slippers.

"He's stopped that annoying knuckle cracking, but now he's smuggling in bubble wrap."

"It's interesting how differently the dog and cat play."

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

Golfer on Football Pitch