Funny Money Pillows

Merchant giving money to office boy

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

Dog Beginning For A Loan

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

tax

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

Our body parts

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

Kenny's new ice-cube-pouch body suit helped him reduce his air-conditioning costs.

Akme National Bank: Our Assets Can Whip Your Assets.

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

He's a financial analyst. He's running the numbers for his latest project. C'mon! You can do better than this! Running the numbers didn't give him the needed results, so he's trying something else. Mmm, creamy. I like this. Sometimes you just have to fudge the numbers.

More toxic assets.

"I see you've invested wildly in Asian stocks...like a bull in a China shop."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!