Funny Money Pillows

Merchant giving money to office boy

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

tax

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

Our body parts

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

More toxic assets.

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

"I see you've invested wildly in Asian stocks...like a bull in a China shop."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

Squirrel Pyramid Scheme