Financial Funsies Pillows

'The market goes up and down, up and down! That's why I'd suggest we buy pills for seasickness!'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

"That was a rumor day."

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

'Till debt do us part...'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Goodbye cruel world."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.

Masochism for stockholders.

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

"I hate it when he makes snow angels in his bonus."

What's 'Bitcoin'?

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'