Funny Incident Gifts

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

Desert Island Mishap

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"This does not make us friends."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"I've been window-shopping..."

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

"Thanks, but, uh, I think I'll take the stairs today."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

A picture can be much more interesting if taken from a strange or funny angle.

'En-counter'

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

'Mary, that better have been a contact lens you just dropped.'

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

Garden Centre - "...she thinks she's getting a mink coat!"

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

'I didn't hear you drive up, Doc.'

'My little sister can't come to school today - She's teaching my Dad how to operate his computer!'

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

Golfer on Football Pitch

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"

'Bloody hell, Jack and Jill! Can't you do a simple thing like fetch a pail of water without getting stoned?'