Funny Home Moments Gifts

'Gesundheit, gus.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"This does not make us friends."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"Iron Man! Thank heaven you’ve come!"

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

"This article says girls will come and go...but family give us unconditional love and will always be there."

"No - you put the cat out."

'I can't wait to tell the vet what a great mouser you are.'

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

'That must be some mouse! Hang on while I get my shotgun.'

New wicket keeping gloves ?

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'