Funny Food Fanatic Gifts

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Kitchen Kapers

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Benihana style of cooking.

Filet minion

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Important Food Groups

The Streets - Night

Burnt or Raw?

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Lockdown casserole

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

Cooking with Pierre

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...