Funhouse Philosopher Gifts

Clown Nightmares

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Recess does things to a man."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Philosopher trading cards.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"So that's where you were last night."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'How did he make the world in six days?'