Funhouse Philosopher Pillows

Clown Nightmares

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Philosopher trading cards.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

"So that's where you were last night."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'