Funeral Planner Aficionados Pillows

"By the way, your phone's dead, so I've taken care of everything."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

A signaller directing pallbearers

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

'You'd look good in that.'

The Werewolf planner

'I tend to bury stuff.'

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

"The doctors said it's just one of the side effects of the medication he's on."

'I wouldn't be seen dead in a cardboard coffin!'

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'I'm looking for something with more legroom.'

'I want to be buried in the smoking section!'

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

'It's only fair. My father couldn't afford to pay for the wedding, and yours could.'

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

Are you sure this is what your husband meant when he said he wanted a quiet send-off?

"He always said he was going to take it with him."

"She requested a twilight service because she wasn't a mourning person."

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

Budget Cremations

'I'd like to try some coffins.' - 'Let me show you our standard size.' - 'It feels a bit tight around the waist.' - 'How are you looking to die?' - 'I don't know, really.' - 'I'd recommend a wasting disease.' -

Undertakers Pole

'It was his last request. He was a track star in college.'

"Bluetooth costs extra."

U-can take it with you funerals.

Mobile Crem