Funeral Planner Aficionados Gifts

"By the way, your phone's dead, so I've taken care of everything."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

A signaller directing pallbearers

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

'You'd look good in that.'

The Werewolf planner

'I tend to bury stuff.'

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

'I wouldn't be seen dead in a cardboard coffin!'

"The doctors said it's just one of the side effects of the medication he's on."

It was his final wish.

'I want to be buried in the smoking section!'

'I'm looking for something with more legroom.'

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

"She requested a twilight service because she wasn't a mourning person."

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

'I'd like to try some coffins.' - 'Let me show you our standard size.' - 'It feels a bit tight around the waist.' - 'How are you looking to die?' - 'I don't know, really.' - 'I'd recommend a wasting disease.' -

"He always said he was going to take it with him."

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

Are you sure this is what your husband meant when he said he wanted a quiet send-off?

'It's only fair. My father couldn't afford to pay for the wedding, and yours could.'

Undertakers Pole

Budget Cremations

'It was his last request. He was a track star in college.'

'It was so sudden. No one's had a chance to tell him.'

Mobile Crem