Funeral Planner Enthusiast Gifts

I wanted open casket. But he wanted closed casket, so we compromised.

Wedding disaster #27.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

A bride and her father walk down an aisle decorated with cost of the wedding.

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

A signaller directing pallbearers

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

Terri and Glenn devise a way to make those tough final choice on their wedding guest list.

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'You'd look good in that.'

'Do you think there's anything after death?'

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

We think he's dead, but why don

'I tend to bury stuff.'

Coffin floating out of outflow pipe.

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."

O'Leary's Monuments

Sympathy Cards

"He just rang to say carry on without him and he'll see us at the reception."

Relax, it's fake fur.

'I wouldn't be seen dead in a cardboard coffin!'