Funeral Fun Gifts

"She looks sooo good."

"All we have left is standing room only."

He looks so natural lying there...

'He loved that dog.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'He was a great writer'

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Life after death

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Life and Death

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

Follow me on Twitter...

Cricketer's funeral

'At least they did a good job on him.'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

Heavenly Gazette This Heavenly Gazette is awfully thin. There doesn't seem to be a financial section Because you can't take it with you. There's no weather forecast. It's perfect every day. I don't see any sports scores. Everybody's a winner up here. And there are no political reports. Of course not in paradise we don't hear anything about politics!

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

2pm meet your Creator

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'He never listened to his mother!'

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

Ventriloquist Grave

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."