Funeral Facts Fanatic Gifts

'Do you know where you're going when your life is over, my son?' 'Sure. Joe's Funeral Home.'

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

Funky Facts - UK kids.

'Listen to this: Each drop of water we drink may have once been in a glacier, Attila the Hun's stew, Mike Tyson's sweat, Liberace's bathwater, drool from a...'

Zoology. Cheetahs can reach speeds up to sixty miles an hour! Amazing, and yet they never win!

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

Funky Facts: Sharks.

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"

'I'm looking for something with more legroom.'

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

"Did you know the Sun is 93 million miles from Earth?"

'First, let me emphasize that the open casket was his idea.'

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

'They always say such nice things about the departed at funerals, it's a pity they're not able to hear them.'

Are you sure this is what your husband meant when he said he wanted a quiet send-off?

Chinese Funerals.

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

Liverpool's Philharmonics orchestra become the first to play below sea level by performing the Mersey Tunnel to mark its 60th anniversary.

"I considered putting his ashes in an urn, but Bob would have wanted it this way."

'Some people couldn't make it today, but they've sent a few tweets...'

"Sir, did the piano die?"

"By the way, your phone's dead, so I've taken care of everything."

The only thing "odd" about this book is the fact that everything in it seems perfectly natural to me. Odd Facts. ?

Did you know there are more microscopic bugs living on your body than there are people on earth?