Fun-loving Philistine Gifts

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Surfing kangaroo #2 Ruck sack.

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Open House of Horrors

Trust

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Malty tasking.'

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

Fount of eternal youth/brewery.

Whale Piñata.

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Ladies, you know the rule about joyriding."

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

Cat playing Golf.

The first transatlantic communication.

Teddy jogging

The Meaning of Life

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

Goalie Wall.

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"