Fun-loving Networker Gifts

"Yes I work from home, Battersea actually."

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

Pinata Trophies

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Office Park

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

Primordial Schmooze

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"I see you had the foresight to like us on facebook."

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'

'look at my new business cards! The old ones weren't big enough for all my information.'

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

Roller Coasters

Media Darling.

'Ah, Mr. Collins? We are friends on Facebook, but I can't remember why.'

"He's networking again!"

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

"Jessica tells me you have a Twitter following in the six figures."

Internet Name Tags.

"You're the perfect candidate! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for perfect candidates at this time."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."

"Gentlemen, let's do lunch."

'Sales has challenged us to a snowball fight.'

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

Men Networking

'Your resume says you are an S.O.B. tell me more about that.'