Fun-loving Canine Pal Gifts

Messed up dog to other: 'I stuck my head out the window at the car wash.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Canine Scentipede

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

To them it's just a Prada handbag

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

Jumping Dogs

'Click it or ticket.'

Dog Igloo.

Two cats are high off catnip.

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"What's worse, that or this?"

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

Child in toy car being pulled by a dog

"Where do you see yourself five years from now? Dog years, of course."

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

How Am I Driving?

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."