Fuel Frugality Gifts

Bank Loans - 'We were looking to buy a tank of petrol.'

We provide a loan officer with every fill-up.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

Cheapskate Cruises

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'How much did you save this year?'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

Oil shock.

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

With their sales slumping due to high gas prices, many RVs are being converted...

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'I wish they would just spring for a paper shredder.'