Frustrated Sports Loyalist Gifts

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

'Team spirit, my ass.'

I love Kung Fu.

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

"First off, I want to thank god, for raining down frogs and locusts on the other guys."

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

"Sometimes, I wish we'd never invented football."

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

'With your two left feet you ain't got a prayer, mate!'

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

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Baseball Cash

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

'You forgot one of the essential facts of putting - the ball always breaks toward the water.'

Scandal is catching up to Lance Armstrong.

Will I ever meet a financial advisor who inerstands my needs and likes the same sports teams I do?

Football prayers.

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.

Football Hooligan.

Reality Football

'... And so the tortoise beat the hare, but was later disqualified due to steriods abuse.'

"Depressed, anxious, unsure about the future...It's very common for people in your position, have you thought about supporting a different team?"

Highlights from when the team didn't stink...

'Can I leave early tomorrow to watch England in the World Bowls Championships on TV...'

Golfing across the islands.

"I wouldn't come to watch this rubbish every week, If I wasn't their manager."

Oscar Pistorius