Frustrated Sports Loyalist Mugs

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

'Team spirit, my ass.'

I love Kung Fu.

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

"First off, I want to thank god, for raining down frogs and locusts on the other guys."

"Sometimes, I wish we'd never invented football."

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

'With your two left feet you ain't got a prayer, mate!'

Baseball Cash

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"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.

Reality Football

Will I ever meet a financial advisor who inerstands my needs and likes the same sports teams I do?

Football prayers.

Football Hooligan.

'... And so the tortoise beat the hare, but was later disqualified due to steriods abuse.'

"Depressed, anxious, unsure about the future...It's very common for people in your position, have you thought about supporting a different team?"

Highlights from when the team didn't stink...

Golfing across the islands.

"I wouldn't come to watch this rubbish every week, If I wasn't their manager."