Frustrated Bill Payer Pillows

'After seeing the latest fuel bills your Dad's gone nuclear!'

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

"I charge by the grain."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

Car Dealer

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

'What do you mean I'm not putting in any sweat equity? I sweat every time you give me a bill.'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde gets his gas bill.

'No, it wasn't a horror movie, It was the gas bill'

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

'I'd like to be frozen until health insurance will cover my pre-existing conditions.'

What's the sale price on scones? Zero percent off. It's a sale in name only. I see. How many can I get at the sale price? The sale mentality mocks me.

Cooling off period? I'm so cold I'll probably never use your company again!

"There will always be death and taxes."

"No need to rush down - it's only the gas bill."

We use all the latest painless procedures, so now a visit only hurts at the end when you get the bill.

Debt is a tax with interest added on.

"The bills! The bills!"

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

"Please rate our customer service. For Nasty Insults, Press 1...."

Police: Don't bother to call Dept formerly rapid response.

"Due to the high electricity price, you'll have to pay a 25 bucks deductible. As you will understand, I'd like to have it in advance."

Customer Avoidance Dept.

Been looking at some used cars, Ernie? In the beginning there was Hyundai Genesis. Then I saw a Mitsubishi Mirage, but it disappeared before I could get a closer look. I was considering a Dodge Charger but it relocated to Los Angeles. And a Bronco was too many bucks for me. Then I found a great Ford Escape to buy. But in the morning the garage door was broken and it was gone. I think the universe is telling me to stick with my bike.

Dual Fuel Bill in Hell

Billy strip: paying bills with a smile.

Man at complaints window gets redirected to the next window.

"Did you pay the gravity bill?"

The Property Ladder