Fruit Roll-up Connoisseur Gifts

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

"Just be yourself."

Apple Pie Abduction

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Peach flirting with a banana.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Conference Pears

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

William Tell

Lovers dressed as pears

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"Mom says I'm a super fruit."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Produce Market. Lots of things are going on with the produce. The tomatoes, as usual, are having a fruit or veggie identity crisis. Though it makes no sense, the apples and oranges are constantly comparing themselves to one another. The plums are happy. Any assignment or position that comes their way is always the best. That potatoes want couches, of course. And the bananas think they should run the market government. Sure, a banana republic!

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

'Are they fresh?'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

'We're both dyslexic.'

'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'

Young bananas talking to each other as adult banana gives them cookies: 'I have the best Nana.'

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

Produce Fuji Apples. I told you that's not how "fudgey" is spelled.

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

Agricultural Research Lab. I've developed a new variety that's one-third larger -- What should I call it? The 'bananana".

Vegicurious

Lovers dressed as pears

Meet the layer.

A smart alec boy