Frugality Skeptic Gifts

"I don' think Baldo is good with his money."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

Pandora's box.

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

How to do without

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'