Frugality Skeptic T-Shirts

"I don' think Baldo is good with his money."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

Pandora's box.

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

How to do without

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'