Frugal Healthcare Navigator Pillows

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Cheapskate Cruises

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'You're allergic to feathers.'

Medicare: More is Better!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

Woman and scales.

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

GPs to be required to offer appointments in advance.

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

Cut rate clinic: 'Attention! All medical personnel must wash their hands 2/ soP & WATER AFTER EVERY 10TH patient'