Frugal Healthcare Navigator Gifts

"I have to warn you, this procedure will be painful, particularly to your wallet."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Cheapskate Cruises

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'You're allergic to feathers.'

Medicare: More is Better!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

Woman and scales.

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

GPs to be required to offer appointments in advance.

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

Cut rate clinic: 'Attention! All medical personnel must wash their hands 2/ soP & WATER AFTER EVERY 10TH patient'