Budget Healthcare Enthusiast Pillows

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

Healthy Patients Only

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

Get well soon!

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

The spend is high

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'