Affordable Healthcare Enthusiast Pillows

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

Uncle Sam and health care.

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

Big Drug Companies Hooked

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

"I'll bet he takes other dangerous drugs too! See if we can catch him with an aspirin!"