Health Insurance Enthusiast Pillows

'You've only got a few days left to use up your healthcare benefits for the year. I'm going to call to see if I can get you in for a colonoscopy.'

'The jury's still out on it's effectiveness, but it is covered by insurance.'

Doctor uses his stethoscope on the patient's wallet.

'I can explain the meaning of life, but I'm having trouble myself signing up for Affordable Healthcare.'

Medicare: More is Better!

"My insurance will pay for a new hip, but I really need better glasses and a hearing aid."

"The police want to ask you a few questions about where you get such good health insurance at such an affordable rate."

'I'm thinking about becoming a priest - tell me about your healthcare plan?'

'This can't be right...I went private some time ago.'

"Well, hypochondria isn't a problem."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"You call all this a side effect?"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'