Budget-conscious Medic Pillows

'As a cost-containing measure, I'm going to give you your second opinion along with your first one.'

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

Elevator charge $1.00.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Sam's Nation Building

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

The management consultants recommended the use of more portable technology on the wards...but we couldn't afford laptops.'

'You would save money on the long run if you'd let me throw in an autopsy with the procedure.'

'Rooms are $200 a day, did you want nurses..? bed...? Sheet...?'

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'

'The good news is these grades are not good enough for me to get into an expensive college.'

Do you have health insurance ?

"Budget cuts mean that we've had to sell the atomic force microscope."

'Yes, high prices saves lives - the more a patient pays, the quicker the recovery!'

'It's been a huge success.'