Budget Doctor Pillows

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

"Surgery up here is free!"

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"I just..."

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Elevator charge $1.00.

Overdraft limit.

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Small Businesses Go Under.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

Budget Munchies

7.9% Fewer Drones

Gas prices up.

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Security/Savings

"Want me to send my nurse in here to tickle you? Laughter is the only medicine you can afford."

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

'My expense account isn't what it used to be. So for lunch I'm taking you fishing, and we'll eat what we catch.'

Sam's Nation Building

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Don't take my money.

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

The Elephant in the Corner.

Economic Experts