Healthcare Navigators Pillows

"I got a clean bill of health but my insurance company refuses to pay it."

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

GPs to be required to offer appointments in advance.

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'Together, you have enough insurance to cover only one person. You'll have to draw straws.'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Hospital Departments

'You're allergic to feathers.'

"Cardiac day patients?"

Medicare: More is Better!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Woman and scales.

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

'I'm from the temp agency, who are you?'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

'Oh no, not you again,'

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

'I never know which side to start on.'

Hospital bed shortages

'And what can I do for you..?'

Weight Loss Cheat.

"NOTHING has changed from your last visit here? What do you people do?"