Health Navigator Pillows

'I'm not sure if you're sick or 'at it.'' 'Shouldn't I be given the incapacity benefit of the doubt, Doctor?'

Bad for you but to die for

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Better times ahead.

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Hospital Departments

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

Doubt or Certainy

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'You're allergic to feathers.'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

Shrink

"Cardiac day patients?"

Medicare: More is Better!

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

Woman and scales.

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'Have you been eating right?'

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."