Frugal Comedians Gifts

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

The Fault of the Fowl

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'92 elements in the Universe and you always have to chuck the compound NaCl all over your dinner!'

Memory Foam Mattress.

Wife is reading a book intitled 'Meals in 5 minutes', husband is reading a book about 'Divorce in 5 days'.

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

igloo smoking zone...