Economic Comedians Gifts

Cost of Fuel

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Trickledown economics

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'We buy and sell them.'

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

First Market Decline

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Government Handouts.

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."