Frontier Storyteller Gifts

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Historically Significant Fibs

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Robot Robber

A Salmon Lie

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

I'm Ok, You're Ok Corral

House Hunters of the Old West

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

Two cowboys fight using remote control cowboys

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

Australasia.

'Davy Crockett's divorce.'

Desert Island Gossipping

"Land salmon. . ."

"You were the one who wanted to colonize another planet."

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

"No one knows your name, you don't have an address...that's why you don't get any mail."

'Doctor Livingston, I presume.'

'So what if Tex is sitting on your log? Pick out a new one!'

"I only use it for self definition."

"It's a big responsibility but I believe I can be both 'Joe six pack' and 'Joe six gun'."

Scott of the Antarctic

'There's a world-wide community out there. How about a little French or Spanish, or even some Russian, once in a while.'

"The signal must be stuck."