Friendship Giggler Gifts

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"It was the food critics who gave our soup the two 'reallys'."

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'