Friendly Manager Gifts

"Harry!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"This position has become very important to the company."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'