Friend Who Is A Manager Gifts

Subordinate Employee

Boss's Desk Says No!

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

InOutYada Yada.

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

violence in workplace

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

Race for Results

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'Where should I leave this?'

'Of course, that's just my opinion. It'll be yours, too, if you know what's good for you.'

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.