Friend In Need Of A Laugh Pillows

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

"He's starting to flag a bit"

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

"...and in conclusion..."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

'Great! You mean it's obedience school prom season already!'

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

A parrot business meeting

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

Robinia Floribunda