Freudian Humorist Gifts

"Our Sigmund has had this great idea for boosting the family business."

A man dreams of a snake

'It's the end, McEvoy - no tank can take on a German Vagina Dentata!'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Scarcity

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Archimedes statue with a lever

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

Zenemies.

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Optimist

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Schrödinger and his cat