Freshness Fanatics T-Shirts

'It couldn't be much fresher ,sir - didn't you see it wink at you ?'

What the Doctor Ordered

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Freshest ice cream in town!

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Tarzan of the Grapes.

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Walkers

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

Large, wrinkly

Tree Passion

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'What are you eating now?'

Plum jam...

"Prepare to meet your maker."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Planting veggies

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Apricots

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Hey boss, it's April 13th. A couple years ago, you said come back April 13, 2015, and we could talk about you giving me a raise. Yes, but that was predicated on the notion that you'd need a raise by now. I see you're still alive. Clearly you haven't starved to death. You smell minty-fresh, so clearly you haven't been forced out onto the streets. Karl Marx said it best: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." I'm pretty sure that is not what Marx meant.

Low Hanging Fruit